What I reckon: ‘Valentines Day’

There was a magical retard intellectually challenged person at an airport security gate cheering on Mr Demi Moore as he ran to stop a woman of value from boarding a flight.

At the beginning of the film Mr Moore helpfully elbowed an Asian man out of an interview with a news crew because said Asian man had (hilariously) poor English.

At some point an Indian woman comforts her lonely 8 year old daughter by saying one day they’ll arrange for ‘a good husband.’

Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel and Jennifer Garner remain very attractive. Jessica Alba hits her mark, stays in the light and seems to wear the same thing every take for continuity. Julia Roberts has a lot of teeth.

What’s up with Topher Grace? Topher Grace is intolerant of Anne Hathaway’s second job as a phone sex operator – how very ‘Girl 6′ – but it’s okay, he comes to terms with her whoring by the end. He also seems to be working out, so there’s that.

There was VERY VERY NEARLY a sweaty dickdonktacular sex scene between Eric Dane and Bradley Cooper but it didn’t happen and that broke my heart. Way to ruin Valentines Day, ‘Valentines Day.’